I have a problem with letting it all hang out and showing the human side of me. (Even this post!) I’ve spent a few weeks now antagonized by insecurity. Every time I put on a mug, every time I go out to perform, is it 💯%? When I get announced as Miss Gay Evansville, is it the quality of art one would expect from Miss Gay Evansville?
Wednesday, especially, I don’t think the mug was as effective as it could have been, and I felt sick all night from a bad combination of shots and caffeine. I didn’t even think I’d be able to make it through all three of my numbers without getting as sick as that time I drank espresso with milk and then did “I’m So Excited” 😳 (Tip: Don’t drink milk before performing, woof.)
In spite of the insecurity…
In spite of the feeling my best sometimes isn’t good enough…
In spite of the feeling of heightened expectations I feel when I’m announced as Miss Gay Evansville…
I’m resilient.
I’ll push through.
And I’ll never give up.
I did get through my three numbers.
I can’t be perfect like I want to be, but I can be share in our humanness and continue to strive for perfection.
Love,
Bendovah Plenti 